What Happened...
I prayed and debated a lot about whether or not to share the details of what's been going on with me. I've always been a very open person though, and I don't want to feel like this is some dark secret I'm keeping. I also know what it's like to feel like you're the only one, and if sharing this can help relieve that for one other person, I'm willing to put it out there. Plus, we could use all the prayers we can get. I'll warn you now though, that it's not a short or happy story...
We were so excited to announce right before this weekend that we were expecting our first child. Our doctor decided to go ahead and do an early ultrasound to date the pregnancy, and it was not good news. The baby only measured 8 weeks and there was no heartbeat (should have been 9-1/2 weeks). We were, of course, devastated & heartbroken. The news only kept getting worse when they sent us straight to the ER. It turns out I had an interstitial pregnancy- a rare form of ectopic that implants right at the opening of the tube to the uterus. Apparently, these are severely more dangerous than ectopics (1 in 50 with an interstitial pregnancy dies) because if they rupture, the uterus ruptures too and causes severe hemorrhaging. About 1.4% of pregnancies are ectopic, and only 2-4% of those are interstitial. We’d never been so terrified.
Praise the Lord though that not only did we have that ultrasound, I was also in stable condition. The doctors hadn’t actually ever seen an interstitial that didn’t require immediate invasive surgery. As heartbroken as I am to have lost the baby, I’m also so grateful that God called our little blessing home when He did... I’m not sure I could have handled the guilt and shame of having to terminate the pregnancy- even if it was to save my own life. They now have me on methotrexate (a chemo drug) with plenty of crazy painkillers and drugs- we were told that if the drugs didn’t work, they would likely have to remove one of my tubes and part of the uterus.
Thankfully, my last ER check in showed my hcg levels already dropping pretty well. The doctors are pretty hopeful I won’t need surgery, and if I do, only a D&C. They also can confidently say that the danger to my life has passed too. I’m so grateful that such a terrifying situation has turned out for the best, but needless to say... We’re still heartbroken and grieving (and probably will be for a long time). As we heal through this process though, I do hope to get back to blogging soon- if only to keep things going and take my mind off of what's happening.
Praise the Lord though that not only did we have that ultrasound, I was also in stable condition. The doctors hadn’t actually ever seen an interstitial that didn’t require immediate invasive surgery. As heartbroken as I am to have lost the baby, I’m also so grateful that God called our little blessing home when He did... I’m not sure I could have handled the guilt and shame of having to terminate the pregnancy- even if it was to save my own life. They now have me on methotrexate (a chemo drug) with plenty of crazy painkillers and drugs- we were told that if the drugs didn’t work, they would likely have to remove one of my tubes and part of the uterus.
Thankfully, my last ER check in showed my hcg levels already dropping pretty well. The doctors are pretty hopeful I won’t need surgery, and if I do, only a D&C. They also can confidently say that the danger to my life has passed too. I’m so grateful that such a terrifying situation has turned out for the best, but needless to say... We’re still heartbroken and grieving (and probably will be for a long time). As we heal through this process though, I do hope to get back to blogging soon- if only to keep things going and take my mind off of what's happening.
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